This past week while traveling, I left my computer behind. I sat it down, fully intending to put it in my bag, yet I walked away without it. Sometimes I lose things.
This is a thing I do. I lose things and forget things.
Sometimes I lose things less important, like a shopping list and sometimes I lose very important things like my computer or my phone or my keys. Sometimes I get these things back and other times they are gone forever. Thanks to the wonder that is overnight shipping, I have my computer back. My favorite jacket on the other hand — I’m pretty sure it lives in a trash compactor now.
I don’t want to lose my things. I hate losing my things and I’ve worked very hard on prevention. I’ve given up caffeine, I stay well fed and hydrated, I practice meditation and I have routines for transitional times. All of this has helped yet, the occasional absent mindedness still happens. And all evidence suggests that it will continue to happen.
If you also find yourself frequently losing things, I’m sorry, but I have concluded there is no cure. My best suggestion is try to slow down your thoughts and actions. Try to build systems for the times when you are transitioning from one place or activity to another.
When I found out I had driven far away from my computer, I did feel bad. I started down the ‘Why does this always happen to me?” spiral. In the past, the negative self talk and anxiety would have been acute. This time, after I made arrangements to be reunited with my computer, I let the bad feelings go.
What I’ve come to accept is that I can’t be good at everything. My mind is quick, active and creative, which means I am not always in the moment. I think often about serving others which means I am not focused on what I am doing at the moment. Casual interactions with too many people enervates me which makes it difficult to focus. I do my best to keep up with my things but sometimes I still fail.
If you are someone who never loses their things, this might sound crazy to you. I am certainly envious of your skills. Please consider the possibility that we all have parts of our personality that annoy us, yet we find it is difficult to change. Maybe you are easily frustrated and break things, or maybe you are incredibly sensitive and easily cry, or maybe you lean toward perfectionism and find it hard to rest. You don’t want to break your things, or cry at inconvenient times or never take a rest yet it continues to happen.
Whatever you find difficult about yourself, I encourage you to give yourself a little grace. Accept your imperfections while you keep trying to do better. And when you can, extend a little grace to others because maybe like me, they sometimes lose their things.